Week 4
This week the topic we tackled was something of an open ended idea. We were looking at Miru Kim’s work and watched her TedTalk online. Her work is inspiring and I respect the audacity that she has by going into abandoned/ illegal/ underground spaces by herself or accompanied by her sister. I don’t know if I would be able to face the fear of creating self-portraits in spaces I do not feel comfortable in. Maybe that is a flaw and something I should work in. Who knows what other things I could find out about myself if I followed her approach.
As part of the assignment we had to read the article about her and answer questions about what environments I feel most comfortable in, where I am vulnerable and/or exposed, and whether I have ever photographed in abandoned areas. This was my response:
I have to admit that I feel very comfortable shooting in areas which I experience on a daily basis. There are many specific locations, but two places I really like working are in studio, or in my building complex. I think this is due to the fact that I am very familiar with all aspects of these two locations. That I feel comfortable that I can easily explore them, and look at places which I see everyday and shine a new light on them. But mostly I think these two specific locations have in common is that I can control all outcomes at all times. In general, I like to work when people are not watching me and I have time to assess carefully every aspects of the shot I am about to create without feeling pressured that someone will walk in mid shoot, or someone will bother me with questions or disapproving looks. I also think these are major concerns for me because I am very self conscious about using myself as subject for my images and I don’t want people to ask me what I am doing…
Where I feel more exposed? Well, I would have to agree that if I am creating self-portraits, the streets are a place where I do not feel comfortable working in. I seem to hate the idea of setting up my camera, composing the shot, and then have to walk to the desired place and shoot. I think there are many reasons for this, but the main two I would say are the thought that someone will just walk by and steal my camera, and the second is that people might get curious about what I am doing, and just decide to hang around and observe. Although I feel like I am a very outgoing and energetic person, I do not like to be the center of attentions. I usually become semi-invisible (quite and observant) when in large groups, and carefully decide when, how and what to interact with. And I feel that this aspect of my personality makes it hard for me to be more adventurous and actually create self-portraits in public spaces where anyone can interfere with my moment with the camera.
If I have every shot in abandoned places? Of course, but never myself. I have always used models and friends to do so. Again I think this is derived to the fact that I am not comfortable shooting myself in places I do not know. Maybe if I was to shoot in an abandoned place, I would have to frequent it a few times and familiarize myself with my surrounding until I would be able to prepare the camera and shoot. Many times when creating a self-portrait, I ponder how unsympathetic and unaware of how my models/friends might have felt. It is quite daunting to have an f2.8 lens looking directly into your eyes and strobe lights flashing every few seconds. I also think that being on the other side of the camera has made me more aware of my model’s mood and now make it a priority to try and break the ice and ease into the session. Great for my models, but now I have to come up with a way to break the ice with the camera and myself.
This whole idea that I don’t feel comfortable creating self-portraits in public locations really hit a mark for me, and made me think that I should definitely create a scene that is out of my comfort zone, but it was very difficult to do so. It is almost strange that I have no problem taking pictures of myself with my friends in public spaces, and even using a selfie stick if necessary, so, why is it so hard for me to do so when I am by myself? Even in circumstances where I find myself alone in the street, where many people entertain themselves by taking “selfies” with their phones I feel very self conscious. The only way I was able to do it was by forging facial expressions and by using an unnoticeable camera which was my iphone’s one. At a later stage maybe I will be able to use my real Canon camera and a tripod.
ME UNDERCOVER
